There, I've written it. Sounds horrible doesn't it? Just the word creates fear, and panic. "Oh no you poor thing!" sympathy waves wash over me, leaving me feeling cold and fearful.
It's very confusing. On the one hand I need emotional support and sympathy, and I'm getting plenty of that from the loved ones all around me, in every corner of my life, who care about me and have offered help and sympathy and cake or wine, or just a shoulder to cry on. On the other hand, I'm weary from all the thinking and talking that I've been doing over the last week ... it's stressful, explaining to everyone what's going on and describing what's happening to the cancerous cells in my milk ducts, and discussing the ins and outs of the unpleasant surgery decisions I have to make. I don't like making people upset, and I don't want them to worry. But there we are. We are all connected, which is how things are supposed to be, and I know that I am blessed. It would be so much worse to be doing this on my own.