The kids and the dog are asleep and Big G is away working. I've enjoyed a soothing glass of red wine tonight (while I still fancy it) and there's a cup of hot camomile tea by my side. It's peaceful.
The last 2 weeks of August went by in a frenetic blur, as I tried to cram in everything I hadn't been doing all summer. My first FEC chemo session was almost 3 weeks ago, on September the 2nd, so I am now on Day 19. My scalp has been feeling tender today and I'm starting to shed my hair. What a strange experience this is! I've not lost too much yet, it's not coming out in great handfuls, but I wonder what the next couple of days will bring. I'm pondering a trip to a hairdresser with clippers, and a visit to the wig shop.
Anyway, on Day 1 of the chemo, I had the drugs injected by a sweet nurse who issued stark warnings about why and when I might need to get back to hospital for emergency treatment. I endured the unpleasant process of freezing my scalp, in the hope that my hair on my head might not fall out. I went home worried, and had no appetite at all. On Days 2 and 3, I kept saying "oh, it's not too bad" but was light-headed and pale, I had a headache and my temperature was low so I worried even more. I made a few tearful fretful phone calls to the chemo ward and was told to go to bed and stop worrying. I carried on worrying. I felt tired and sick in different measures on different days ... mostly tired on Days 4 and 5 and mostly sick on Days 7, 8 and 9. I cried with each wave of queasiness, worrying that I might never feel better ever again.
But then, to my great relief, I did feel better. By Day 10 I felt GREAT! Cautiously normal. Energetic. Not sick. Since then I've been back to work, seen lovely friends and my precious family, been to a murder-mystery play at the theatre, watched my son playing little boy football, celebrated my daughter getting a part in The Sound of Music at the local theatre, cooked meals and done the school run. It's been lovely.
On Tuesday I'll get my second dose and it will start all over again. I know that I might feel worse this time ... but hopefully I won't worry so much.