Thursday, 23 October 2014

When The Sun Comes Out

I knew the storm was on its way when I went in for my chemo last Tuesday. There was a heaviness in the air around my head, fearful anticipation, a blubbery looming darkness. The drugs were dripped into my veins and home I came. This being my third time around, I knew what to expect and when. Right on cue, the queasiness arrived. Then tiredness showed up, then tearfulness, fearfulness, lightheadness and a yellow face. The next day I fainted - dehydration and low blood pressure the culprits - then 3 days of concrete-limb fatigue like I have never known before, headaches, insomnia, insides churning and head spinning. The thunderclouds descended and the rain lashed and, I do declare, the raging storm got the better of me for a while.

I knew it wouldn't last, and it didn't. I am one of the lucky ones. By Sunday evening I felt much better, I've been recovering throughout the week and today I felt fantastic. It's sensational when the sun comes out after a storm. A life-affirming, joyfully refreshingly marvellous miracle.

I saw my oncologist tonight. We talked at length about what went on last time and she reckons I can put some of it down to anxiety. She told me to go and see my GP ... it's time to get help and stop worrying. And paradoxically, knowing that I'm anxious makes me feel less anxious!

1 comment:

  1. Glad to hear you're feeling better, but fainting must have been scary. Chemo makes everyone anxious. When you think about it, how could it not? Glad you are figuring out your body's rhythms and reactions to it. Figuring out patterns to expect definitely helps a little. So glad the storm passed. Enjoy those sunny days.